Hello all! 🙂 It looks like I’m going to make up for not posting for the past few days by filling up your readers and inboxes today, haha.
If you have been following me long, you’ve probably noticed that I don’t talk about my life much in terms of personal life. And I still don’t plan to share a whole lot, but at the same time, I want to be a little more open. (The “An Update On Life” title was inspired by Maggie’s Life Updates – if you haven’t been to her blog, I encourage you to drop by – her blog is amazing. I linked to it there. 😉)
I’m still battling with fear a bit, but it wasn’t as bad as that one instance a couple of weeks ago. The unknown is scary. Dwelling on what the future may hold can easily make the here and now more miserable than it needs to be. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NASB) Why is it so hard sometimes to give things to God? I hold onto things for dear life that I shouldn’t be holding onto. Always thinking of the worst case scenario and then believing that will happen when that’s not necessarily true. I’m not omnipresent, omniscient, or omnipotent. I don’t know the future. It’s not as if worrying will actually help anything anyway, even if I knew the future. It wouldn’t change it. It would probably do the opposite, for “…who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:27 NASB) Really. Worrying would most likely take hours away from life, not just in the long run, but all the wasted hours worrying that could have been spent elsewhere are lost forever because once the time is gone, there is no way to get it back. But I do know one thing – as I go through life, Jesus will be with me, so I needn’t fear. Now to convince my brain so it will stop worrying… (Haha, wow, this paragraph was massive. 😅 Moving along to the last part of the update…)
And as if that’s not enough… if you read my post titled New Year, New Things, you probably saw the photos of my cats that I shared. Last week, Rabbit died suddenly; you’ll probably recognize at least one of the photos below. It was a huge shock; I didn’t realize she was sick, she seemed fine the evening before, and I found her gone the next morning. She would have been 10 years old this Spring. In her memory, I’m going to post a collage of a few photos of her (and her siblings that happen to be in the photos with her) that I’ve taken over the years.
I’ve been an emotional mess for the past week for these reasons, as you can imagine. Also, because of all of this, I don’t know how often I will be posting on WordPress for a while. (I do, however, plan to catch up on responding to comments today if possible – I’m days behind! )
I wrote a poem last year for Rosie and other pets that I have lost over the years. In Rabbit’s honor, I’m sharing it below.
Broken Heart’s Embrace
Today it hurts too much
To ruminate on images of your face
Or your loving touch
On my broken heart’s embrace…
Pain dulls the delight
Of memories we shared way back when
Like a shade over the light
Until I wonder if it will come back again.
Moments of sweet and bitter sorrow
Mingle with recollections
That will be more cheerful tomorrow.
Someday it won’t hurt so;
The pain will be dulled by the bliss,
Tears of sadness won’t flow,
And will be replaced by joy’s kiss.