Seeds and Weeds of Bitterness

Wild Thang with Tiny (on left) and Aurora (on right)

Last April, my rooster Wild Thang became ill with a respiratory illness. Wheezing, sneezing, unable to crow without sounding like a pathetic squeaky toy…Β  I had to put him in a cage and bring him indoors out of the cold. (I’m not sure how my dad would have felt about a rooster spending a week in his shop…πŸ˜…πŸ˜†πŸ€ͺ ) During this, I scoffed at the idea for praying for my rooster.

I had grown seeds of bitterness within me and they grew like weeds, taking over me and hurting myself and others with their thorns.

Wild Thang and Aurora during molting season

I thought, what is the use of praying for a sick rooster when God didn’t answer my prayers about my dad, who was ill for years?

Then I had a sudden thought that hit hard. I would be angry either way. I doubt it was my own conscience; the Holy Spirit was probably trying to get my attention. If God didn’t heal my rooster, then I’d be upset and wondering why God allowed so much heartbreak in my life in such a short time span. If God DID heal my rooster, then I would be bitter because what kind of God heals a rooster but not my dad?

And this is when I knew I had a problem.

 

It’s not my timing, but His. I saw a quote on Tim Challis’s Instagram the other day that, paraphrasing, no one dies before or after their appointed time and that appointed time is God’s timing. (Linked to post above.) I had a hard time believing this and it led to me running away from God instead of toward him. It led me to distance myself from friends and blogging because I wasn’t following Him.

It took months after this to be able to stop running away. Stop and admit what I had done. More things had to happen to bring me to where I could stop and repent. It’s still a healing process, I’m not saying I’ve found all the answers. But I think I’m finally running in the right direction.

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Taking Over Me

I’ve been asleep for too long, in a dream
Dreaming of what it all means
Thought I knew but it was a haze
Wasn’t living, I was stumbling in a daze

Anger and hate taking over me
I craved the dying flesh, like a zombie
Desires misplaced, chased only sin
And it was eating me alive from within

My heart, like the night of the living dead
I need Someone to breathe life into me again
God, put life-giving flesh on these cadaverous bones
Bring the dawn of a new day and lead me home

Give me new life, only You are able
I’m done chasing fantasy and fable
Cleanse me of the darkness inside
And fill me with Your Light

I’m done running after rotting meat
I want to follow the One on the Mercy seat
Forgive me for listening to my deceived heart
Please God, give me a fresh new start

**Inspired by Ezekial 36:26-27, Ezekial 37 (Vision of the Valley of Dry Bones), and Romans 5

For anyone who wants a fresh start or wants to understand the Gospel better:

No More

No more fearing my last breath
Jesus had won the war
Victory no longer belongs to death

Forevermore I can live in Him
Prodigal knocked on His door
And He graciously let me in

Even after this body passes me by
His loving sacrifice
Ensures that I will never die

Eternal life is now mine
He paid the price
And my life is Thine

No more fear of tomorrow
For I will live for Jesus today
And behind Him, I always follow

Into eternity, where there is…

No more sickness, no more pain
No more tears to be wiped away
Like windshield wipers in the rain

No more will sin leave stains
In the pure snow white
Fleshly desires will not remain

No more grief, no more sorrow
All sadness had taken flight
All Earthly things, a passing shadow


Your sun shall no more go down; neither shall your moon withdraw itself: for the LORD shall be your everlasting light, and the days of your mourning shall be ended. Isaiah 60:20

Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow. Psalm 144:4

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4


Special thanks to Pete from God’s Maintenance ManΒ for inspiring this poem (click the link to visit the post). In a post, he said:

Imagine if things were on earth as they are in heaven! No more sickness, no more pain, no tears, no death, and no sorrow.

So I dared to imagine. πŸ™‚ (Also, be sure to visit his other blog, The Psalmist, where he posts his psalms and poetry. πŸ˜‰)

Sunsets And Seasons

Just like seasons in nature change, so do we go through seasons in life. Just as I was ready to return to blogging last October, my dad’s health made a sharp decline.Β  He passed away Thanksgiving weekend.

Thus, the sun set on that season of my life in which I was a caregiver and now a new season begins. I took a break from most social media and spent time trying to figure out what this new season looks like. I’m still not totally sure. But I would like blogging to be a part of it.Β  πŸ™‚

Hope to see you around!

Wolf Spider Appreciation Post

I’m back! I didn’t intend to start back posting with photos of spiders, but as it happens, that was the answer to my last post. πŸ˜…

Spiders are interesting creatures. I love that they eat a lot of unwanted bugs, so I don’t kill them. I do shoot them a lot – with my camera.Β  πŸ˜‚ Here is the answer to the last Mystery Photo Friday – along with other spiders I’ve met since then. If spiders aren’t your thing… or you really don’t want to see spiders with babies, spiders having lunch, or spiders having dinner… then I recommend that you don’t scroll down and that you wait for my next post. πŸ˜… I’ll post something prettier next time. πŸ˜‚ Hope to see you when I post something that doesn’t have eight legs. ❀

Mystery Photo Friday Answer – Spider with babies!

 

A loooooot of babies. 😳


Spider having dinner. 😳


Spider having lunch. 😳

I admit I was a bit startled to find this one. I had my hand on the tire and was rolling it (it’s not on a vehicle) and this spider with its lunch was hiding inside the tire. It came out and almost ended up on my hand. I jumped back and ran to grab my camera. I think it’s eating a pinching beetle? Not really sure. But the spider and the beetle were huge.

See you next time. πŸ™‚

Mushroom Mania 2 (+ 3 / 5 / 2021 Mystery Photo Friday answer)

Who knew that mushrooms could be so diverse?Β  πŸ˜€

This is the Mystery Photo from last Friday.Β  πŸ˜€

This is the same one, a different angle.Β  πŸ™‚

I found this one after Hurricane Laura came through.

It was HUGE. πŸ™‚

Also found this one after Laura.

Looks like someone took a bite out of this one. πŸ˜‚

This was a really strange one.

This was the biggest I’d seen.

Seriously. To give you an idea. My hands are small too.

These were really small but they grew clusters.

If you’d like to see more mushrooms, I posted another Mushroom Mania years ago. I love walking around in the woods to see how many unusual ones I can find. Hope you enjoyed this installment of Mushroom Mania! πŸ™‚