Taking Over Me

I’ve been asleep for too long, in a dream
Dreaming of what it all means
Thought I knew but it was a haze
Wasn’t living, I was stumbling in a daze

Anger and hate taking over me
I craved the dying flesh, like a zombie
Desires misplaced, chased only sin
And it was eating me alive from within

My heart, like the night of the living dead
I need Someone to breathe life into me again
God, put life-giving flesh on these cadaverous bones
Bring the dawn of a new day and lead me home

Give me new life, only You are able
I’m done chasing fantasy and fable
Cleanse me of the darkness inside
And fill me with Your Light

I’m done running after rotting meat
I want to follow the One on the Mercy seat
Forgive me for listening to my deceived heart
Please God, give me a fresh new start

**Inspired by Ezekial 36:26-27, Ezekial 37 (Vision of the Valley of Dry Bones), and Romans 5

For anyone who wants a fresh start or wants to understand the Gospel better:

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Struggling Makes Us Stronger (my eggs hatched and what I learned from it)

When researching about eggs hatching, the advice I found was that the chick should be left to break out of the egg on its own, because the struggle makes the chick stronger. Otherwise, it will be weak.

I don’t know how accurate this is, but chick #13 spent two days trying to get out. I prayed for the little fellow – whether hen or rooster – I didn’t want the little thing to die in there. Some people said, if the chick couldn’t get out on its own, it would always be a weak chick and weak adult, and it was better for it to die in the shell because they don’t want weak chicks. I don’t know how true this is, but I also didn’t care. I just wanted the little guy to have a chance to live.

Side note: as someone who once cared for a hen who lost the ability to use her legs (and has a blind hen now), I didn’t care if the chick ended up being a weak chick, I still wanted the little thing.

On day 2 of chirping in the shell,  the egg pipped (the chick cracked the shell) but the membrane wasn’t broken. I was afraid the little guy couldn’t breathe and would suffocate in there, so I risked it. (If broken too early, a blood vessel can break and the chick could bleed to death. I figured since the little guy was trying to break it, that he was ready to break out.) I gently peeled the shell back and broke the membrane. I saw a little beak come up and start taking breaths. I knew then, that was the right thing to do. The weak chirping got louder and more insistent.

As for helping him all the way out, I decided to give him a chance. It said online, some people play bird sounds to encourage the chick to come out. Why do that when I had the 12 siblings in a cage right nearby…

I opened the bag of mealworms and the chicks had a feeding frenzy. The one still in the egg started going crazy and the egg was moving and rolling around.

I hadn’t seen a chick “unzip” that fast – unzip meaning pecking its way out – after the first break of the shell. He was out in just a few hours after I broke the membrane.

And out of the struggles, new life! And what an adorable life. ❤ (Sadly, the eggs this chick is next to didn’t try to hatch. Some showed all the signs of not being fertile – which is weird because we had a rooster – and three had undeveloped chicks inside that died before reaching the hatching stage. So #13 was the last one of the bunch.)

(So cute after drying out! ❤ )

This whole experience made me think of our struggles.

When we are surrounded by a sphere-shaped trial, we only see that. We don’t see God, watching above, in infinite knowledge. We are trapped inside the struggle. When the chick wanted to get out, instead of freeing him completely, I only gave him what he needed – an air hole. But he wanted to be out NOW.

Doesn’t that sound like us when we pray to God about trials and struggles? I know it sounds like me. I want out of a trial NOW. I don’t want to struggle anymore. But God knows best. But will I trust Him?

Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,

Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37:4-6

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (First Peter 5:6-7)

Cast your burden on the LORD,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22)


It’s hard to trust, but He sees all and knows what is best. And these verses read as a command. Trust in Him.

Back to the chick – because this made a baker’s dozen, I wanted to name her after a cook or a chef. I thought about Chef Boyardee, but that was a man and I didn’t want to doom the hen with a male name. 😅 T.R. Noble suggested Julia Child, and I loved it. But…

…Julia Child was the first to start crowing. So… meet, Jules Verne, the rooster! (Nickname, Julie.) He’s not weak at all. He’s a fighter. He hatched a week after the first hatched (I expected him to be five days later because I put him in five days after the other eggs) and I guess he has to be tough because he was the youngest.

(I’m fairly certain that Patriot is in the front and Julie is on top of the water dispenser,  but they looked very similar at this age. 😅 Baelfire is the red rooster.)

Because of answered prayer, the little guy not only lived but he is thriving. 😀 He’s not so little and cuddly anymore but he turned into a beautiful rooster. 🙂

The Secret Place, The Sacred Space

During times of struggle, I go to the secret place
Yes, I flee from the world out there
I fall to my knees in prayer
While I’m troubled, I dwell in the sacred space

As the pride of lions
Circle, ready to devour the flock
He will set me on His rock
He will hide me in His pavilion

He answered in the secret place of thunder
I dwell in the shadow of the Almighty
I fall before His throne on my knees
In awe and childlike wonder

You hide my prayers in Your presence, the secret place
You put my tears into Your bottle
And seal them in the sacred space
They are written in Your book
You keep them to Yourself, where they are safe
I bow myself before You, my Lord –
Almighty Lord, You are my Holy hiding place!


O God, You are more awesome than Your holy places.
The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Psa 68:35

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8

For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5

You called in trouble, and I delivered you;
I answered you in the secret place of thunder;
I tested you at the waters of Meribah. SELAH Psalm 81:7

You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence
From the plots of man;
You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion
From the strife of tongues. Psalm 31:20

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. Matthew 6:6


I was also inspired by this song. ❤

I’d also like to thank Ruth for helping me with edits to this. ❤

I hope to get back into blogging; lately, I haven’t slept well and it’s affecting my concentration, meaning it’s harder to write. 😅  Also been spending many hours gardening. 😀 I hope to catch up with you all soon! 🙂

Crimson Drops

They have put a thorn of crowns on His brow
Crimson drops roll down His cheeks
And under the purple robe
His back bleeds

Lift up the thorns, still dripping clots of gore
They scourge Him creating a river of red
That splashed upon the floor
Without remission, His blood shed.

Flung to the hard ground
To wood, hands and feet nailed –
He made not a whimpering sound
Nor did He flinch or flail.

They pierced His side
Running forth blood and water
On that cross, He died
And this pleased the Father.

The spotless Ram,
Perfect sacrifice
The blood of the Lamb,
Lord Jesus Christ!


Mark his brow-they have put about it a crown of thorns, and the crimson drops of gore are rushing down his cheeks! . . . But turn aside that purple robe for a moment. His back is bleeding. ..They lift up the thongs, still dripping clots of gore; they scourge and tear his flesh, and make a river of blood to run down his shoulders! This is the shedding of blood without which there is no remission…They fling him to the ground; they nail his hands and feet to the transverse wood, they hoist it in the air…Blood from his head, blood from his hands, blood from his feet. They pierce his side, and forthwith runneth out blood and water. — Charles Spurgeon


Usually, Bible verses inspire me to write, or nature. But this quote… I couldn’t help it, I had to write about it. 🙂

Happy Easter! ❤

My Emotions

 

My emotions
Like a wild beast
A tiger crouching
Ready to pounce
And tear at my insides
As if my heart were its prey

My emotions
Can’t be tamed
For every time I reach
They bite like ravenous wolves
Making me bleed tears
That fall down my cheeks

My Helper comes
Extends His arm forward
I cringe as I expect
Frustration
Bitterness
Sadness
Anger
Pain
To attack Him
But He looks at me
“Will you let Me in the gate?”
“Yes Lord.”
I open the gate
He goes into the wild
He pets them and calms them
Patience
Restoration
Joy
Love
Empathy
Tamed at last


But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)


Hello, and happy Monday! 🙂 The first two photos are two cats I had years ago, Simba and Sonny. I feel like I need to apologize to Jackie for using this photo again, but it captures the untamed feeling I was going for. 😅 I know this is a little different than the poems I usually post but I wanted to try something different and raw. I hope you enjoyed and have a great day! ❤

Asking, Seeking, Knocking

I thought I knew You
But knew another instead
Junk food for the soul
Not nutritiously fed

Eating.

My spirit grew fat on the sugar
And my health deteriorated
On the outside I looked healthy
But inside the lies saturated

Dying.

Then I was fed with Truth
Junk food tasted sweet
But I didn’t want to die –
I drank the milk and moved to meat

Fighting.

I felt as if I weren’t on solid ground
But were standing on sinking sand.
Like the floor was not sound
And I had no helping hand.

ASKING.

What is truth
And what is lies
Who is the Rock?
Oh hear my cries!

Praying.

I trusted no one, feeling like
I went from a dream to awake.
Is this You or is that You?
Which is real? What is fake?

SEEKING.

You will reveal Yourself
To those who seek
That was a promise
To the humble and meek.

KNOCKING.

I looked through the pages
And read the words
Ate the book, found You
The milk did not turn to curds

Worshipping.

Your words are not sour
You truly bring life to my spirit
Your words are sweet to taste
And keep me from the pit

Singing.

I praise You for bringing
Your light into me
And saving my soul
And shining through me

Living.

I will follow You
Death cannot find me
Perhaps I’ll sleep for a time
But You will raise me

Everlasting.


I feel like I need to apologize to mom… using her delicious sundaes and Oreo cake as an example of unhealthy foods. 😅  They sure were good though! And that’s also mom’s ground turkey stew and seasoned chicken and veggies.

Good stuff. And she made enough for an army. I ate it for lunch and dinner every day for days and I’m not complaining. It was a delight. 😋 

Hope you enjoyed and see you around! ❤

I Let Them In

Don’t let them in
But I opened the door in ignorance
Don’t flirt with sin
But I smiled in my innocence

Oh my Husband, when I turned away
The inner demons came out to play
I let them in Your house
And now…
I can’t fight any longer
They fight hard

My house is a mess
Like a tornado tore through
Sin tries to convince
But I see his words are untrue

Oh my Husband, when I turned away
Sin came with intent to slay
I let him in Your house
And now…
I can’t fight any longer
I fight hard but he fights harder

I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I try to turn away
But they came out to play
But they intend to stay
I… give… up…

“Oh my child, I am stronger
If you just let Me fight for you
None can stand against Me
Inner demons have to leave
Sin and Satan have to flee.”
You came and cleaned Your house
And now…
I’m no longer
A slave to sin and inner demons


Firstly, sorry to Jackie but this seemed like a good image of what I wouldn’t want to let in the door. XD She was actually meeting Angel, our 15-year-old, though the screen and was hissing, spitting, growling and generally letting Angel know that she didn’t care for her at all. And you know me. I thought her trying to be mean was cute so I took photos. Later I realized how mean she actually looked. XD

As with Flirting With Sin, this will have another part or two to go with it. 🙂 Hope to see you there! ❤