With Every Step (A Dream)

Image Credit: Pixabay

Mom and I were driving on the interstate, and we thought we saw the courthouse in the distance, in the fog. The closer we got, the more the large building resembled a huge mansion that had a castle look to it. And it kept growing bigger and bigger and bigger…

When we drove up onto a hill, our view of this large place was unobstructed and we could see it clearly, but the size didn’t match up to what it should have. It was huge, almost like a castle. And the courthouse didn’t look like that.

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It was surrounded not by fog, but by clouds. Clouds descending onto the Earth. Clouds, morphing into a stairway…

Then, I saw the large figure stepping out of the clouds. I couldn’t see His face, but… my soul knew.

And I had all these feelings. Mostly guilt. The closer He came, the more the world faded away. All man-made buildings, roads, cars, everything faded away and was replaced by trees, grass, and nature, like He was rejuvenating the Earth with every step.

Image Credit: Pixabay

And with His last step, the car my mom was in disappeared and I was no longer moving. The clouds descended and covered the Earth, and obstructed the view of my surroundings.

In horror, I understood – I was alone, awaiting judgment.

All I could think was every time I promised to spend time with Him and I didn’t. Every time I intended to pray and talk with Him, study with Him, and instead played some mystery game, chasing clues and discovering secrets, or played some matching game to kill time.

And now time was gone. I wished I could resurrect the time I had killed.

Image Credit: Me

The guilt was so much, I wanted mountains to fall on me to hide me from Him. I could not bear to see His face. It was too much! But He would still see me if mountains could fall on me. Even darkness is light to Him.

I broke down and prayed harder than ever before. I wasn’t able to cry because I was no longer in this body, but I still could feel the grief and despair. But no outlet. It just built up inside, knowing He was coming and I was out of chances, out of time…

I was so scared. I had this overwhelming feeling that when my turn came, He would say, “I never knew you.”

I wanted Him to know me. I wanted to know Him.

Image Credit: Me

Father, please give me a chance to fix this. Give me a chance to live for You. I know I blew it. I’m so sorry that I didn’t give You time and spent it on things that matter far less. I’m sorry I didn’t make time for You. I want to know You. I want You to know me. I’m sorry.

My soul was in a state of pure anguish.

Here, my prayer was answered, and I woke up.

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I had this dream last summer. I wrote out the draft on July 18th, and Google Docs said I edited from 9:40PM until 9:56PM. 16 minutes. It was chock full of typos, which I’ve corrected. 😆

It hit me hard. I talked about it to a friend (Refreshing Spirit) who gave much-appreciated input – to read Isaiah 44:22, which was such a reassurance. 🙂 Also told my dad about it. Also noticed that the reaction I had was similar to Revelation 6:15-17. Beyond that, I didn’t explore it much further, though it still was at the forefront of my mind. I’m not the type of person who thought that I could get a warning out of a dream. I know some people do, I just didn’t think I was one of them.

This was one of the rare times I felt as if the dream wasn’t just a “normal” dream. Or a crazy dream from eating weird food before bed. It was too surreal. I know some dreams feel that real, but in this case, when I woke up, reality didn’t feel real. That’s how real this dream was.

Not even two days later, TR from Inside Cup, messaged me on Pinterest out of the blue to see how I was. I was still processing this. (She encouraged me to share this today. Thanks, TR!) We bonded over this and she gave me her thoughts. And that led to our friendship. 😊 It’s like this dream did double duty. It was a warning but also helped bring another sister in Christ into my life. ❤️ What a blessing!

So, in the end, I took away quite a bit from this dream. For one thing, I needed to spend more time with Him. I want to know Him. I want Him to know me.  (I’ll have a post next Monday and Tuesday going more in depth with this – mostly Tuesday’s. 😉)

For another thing, worldly things don’t matter. The worldly things were disappearing before His presence. The closer I get to Him, the more things of the world will fade. ❤️

O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been. Amen.

Tozer, A. W. (Aiden Wilson). The Pursuit of God (p. 40). Kindle Edition.

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