Under This Smile
Under this smile
There is a side
You never get to see.
All the while,
Pain does reside
In the depths of me.
Depression is a thief,
Stealing happiness
And leaving despair,
And utter grief.
I must confess,
I wish wasn’t there.
I can try to cover it
Like putting makeup
On a painful scar,
And try to smother it,
But soon I give up,
And don’t get too far.
I can play pretend
Temporarily,
But it forthwith
Comes to an end.
There is a part of me
That wants to show this,
And yet, the other
Part wants to hide
It shamefully.
It is yet another
Thing I wish to confide
I’m desperate to be free.
It’s harder when
I’m asked why;
I have no answer,
And I’m dejected again.
To my Savior I cry,
For Him to cure.
Fearful being rejected again;
I don’t want to open
My heart and soul,
For fear of then
Inviting Sadness in
To eat me whole.
“But You already know
My heart; You, most Holy,
Won’t reject me.”
This begins a slow
Healing from melancholy,
Defeating the Enemy.
It is one more ploy
Of the pirate to plunder
My hopeless spirit,
But my Savoir restores joy
And I begin to wonder,
Can I beat it?
Jesus has the victory
Over the whole world.
Death and sin have lost
Because His mighty
Plan was unfurled
When His Son paid the cost!
This and more is going
On inside of my brain
All at the same time.
But none is showing,
No, none of the pain
That’s under this smile of mine.
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. (Psalm 126:5 KJV)
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3 ESV)
My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26 NKJV)
So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? (First Corinthians 15:54-55 KJV)
He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of His people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it. (Isaiah 25:8 KJV)
This is one of my longer poems. I know, it doesn’t have the usual victory message at the very end, but… I was being real. I know there will be victory in the end, but sometimes in the moment, you just don’t feel it. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t true though. 😉 He will have the victory. 🙂
This is such a touching and honest and real poem my friend. I have been here, more than once, and could feel the raw emotions. It’s life, and it’s not always rainbows and lollipops. God knows and shows us this in the verses, and there are many that tell us, we will have times like what you have expressed so well here. Thanfully He is merciful, and will provide the peace we need. You will help more people than you know by sharing this poem 🙂 I thank God for you. 🙂
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Amen!
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Thank you! ❤ I'm sorry that you've been there too.
Yes, so true. 🙂
Amen, I am thankful for His mercy too. 🙂
❤
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I still find myself there from time to time. I don’t understand or know why it happens but now I try to remember when I am weakest God is strong. Thank you for having the courage to share with us. ❤
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Same here. Kinda there today actually. It’s been coming and going a lot the past few weeks.
Amen! 🙂 When we are weak He is indeed strong!
❤ 🙂
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I know. It seems to come in waves. I always feel those are the times the LORD is trying to teach me somethig, and its the evil ones way of trying to distract me from learning what the LORD is trying to teach me.If that makes sense 🙂
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Yes, mine comes in waves as well.
That does make sense. 🙂
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I appreciate the rawness!!! I’m going to share this on the community spotlight. 🙂
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Thank you! ❤ Oh my goodness, thanks – that means so much to me. 😀
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You are welcome!!!
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You’ve just put to words what many can’t. Thank you so much. You express depression so well, and as Margaret said, this is going to help a lot of people.
Through the whole poem, though, I could sense your hope and faith in God, and if you keep clinging to Him, there won’t just be a victory; there will be an exceedingly abundant victory.
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❤
Thanks for the encouraging words. 🙂 I do hope it will help someone. ❤
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As Margaret said, it’s honest and real and I can relate. Thank you for sharing this poem. Blessings. 💙
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❤ 🙂
Blessings! ❤
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This touched my heart. I remind myself also, as you stated in such beautiful poetic verse, that God will never reject me. Beautiful!
L
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💜 😊
Thank you! 🙂 Amen, He never will!
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Beautiful poem and beautiful pictures, Grace!
(In case you didn’t realise, it’s me, Hayley from Red Letters.)
You have such a gift with words that can only come from above! I love how you use it all for Jesus’ glory.
It’s great to hear that you and T.R. have struck up a friendship and are in contact. I love both you guys and have missed reading your posts. It’s nice to be back!
Have a great day.
Much love, Hayley 😊💕
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Thank you! ❤
Oh my goodness, Hayley! Nice to see you back!!! T. R. told me you had a new blog but I didn't remember the name of it. Now I can come over and check it out. 😀
Aww, thanks. 🙂 Yeah, it has been really great. 😀
I've missed you too. ❤ Can't wait to view your new blog!
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Aww it’s so good to hear from you, Grace! Missed you lots!! Me, you and T.R. will have to Skype sometime. I’m excited to hear about all that God is doing in your lives! 🙏 Love Hayley 😘❤️ xxxx
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😀
That would be so fun! We really should do that sometime. And I’m excited to hear about what He is doing in your life too. 🙂
❤
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Fantastic! My email is hayley.boden@me.com 😊❤️xxx
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😀 Thanks for the email – I’ll be sure to email you soon! I think I found you on Instagram too – my account is my penname, Penelope Payne . 🙂
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I can relate to this profound poem so much. I know there is victory through it all. He’s gonna get us through it! I know He will. Strength and grace to you. Will be lifting you up in prayers.
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Amen, there is victory in Him! 😀 Aww, thanks for the kind words. ❤ And thanks for the prayers! 🙂 ❤ Strength, grace (little G, God's grace, not me XD), and blessings! ❤
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No problem my sister!! Lolol don’t worry I know the difference 😛
Thanks much hun ❤
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